Feeling?

First of all,i would say that my blog alive again!!!

Don't know why,i feel sad and moody since a month ago. Even i do something to make me happy,but it not work,useless. But i think no one know it,and no one understand what my feeling now. Can u all imagine,what feeling when a person u like saying u? I don't know whether i like or i had accustomed to him? Now we are not friend anymore(i think)... Stop talking,stop quarreling. Is it friend is use for 利用？ After 利用 finish,then no bother her/him more. I don't want to think more! Is it think positive will solve everything? (i don't think so) I very tired,tired,tired~~ Everything had to make it like nothing happen. I keep everything keep until i very tired. Maybe something not to say is better. Trying to be good,but at last also get damaged by them. Maybe what he say is right,说好听是倒霉，不好听是天生注定被人讲~ I don't want to be that,everybody also don't hope too,but what should do? People's mouth,can't control. I like to be myself,but sometimes i had to perform as a good girl to make myself look good,is it the good way to hiding myself? Maybe some people don't like my attitude or the way i talking,but that me! Okay,from now i think i will act like a "softy" person...but can it? But i don't hope my "future" boyfriend will likes the "softy" of me,i want he likes the real of me!! I really hope i can have a person who can make me release my tired and don't so FAKE in front of him! I need a boyfriend??(i think~to control me,XD) I miss the feeling of in love~(sweet) Tell he what i feel right now,and have a person who support me always~ I miss the feeling~~!! *shouting* But i think i will not have a boyfriend now,cause of my rumours,i think~ Give Up thinking of boyfriend! Still cannot make my mood feel better. Have to take long long time to cure it again. Be tough, be strong, be happy! Think positive~ (all just a persuade for myself)

Stop at here,bye~ Will be die long long long time again....................
-Chui-